was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
