let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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