Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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