We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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