He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
