walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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