when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
