The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dignity is for republicans.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
