so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
