For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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