you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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