i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
