You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
