Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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