but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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