we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
