Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
