There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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