It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
