You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
