so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
