remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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