I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
