FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
