god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
