yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
