quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
