i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Life is so much better after having sex.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
