scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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