I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
