Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Randomize
