I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
