...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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