After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
