phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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