This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
