Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
