Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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