Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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