I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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