Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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