Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
