the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
