Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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