so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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