Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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