He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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