This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
