I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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