I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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